The people who challenge us the most often reflect the parts of ourselves we’ve yet to understand like our shadows
What is the shadow side and why it matters
There’s a side of us that rarely sees the light. It’s not the version we show on social media or in job interviews. It’s the quiet, often buried part made of fear, shame, anger, insecurity, and even unfulfilled desires. Psychologists call it the “shadow side.” And while most of us try to ignore it, the truth is—it’s always there.
The concept of the shadows or the shadow side comes from the work of famed psychoanalyst Carl Jung, who believed that the shadow is made up of the traits we subconsciously reject in ourselves. Rather than being “bad,” these traits are often just misunderstood, repressed, or out of alignment with how we want to be seen.
But shadows have a funny way of getting our attention. More often than not, it does this through people who trigger those individuals who seem to push every button, make our blood boil, or leave us emotionally exhausted.
Before you label them toxic, pause. That trigger might just be a mirror.
Triggers are teachers: why certain people enter our lives
Not everyone triggers us or our shadows. Some people walk in and out of our lives without leaving a mark. But others? They stay with us—sometimes even in their absence—because they revealed something uncomfortable, something unhealed.
Think of that colleague who makes you feel invisible. The friend who constantly outshines you. The partner who hits a nerve when you feel rejected. What if those feelings aren’t about them, but about you? What if those people show up not to hurt you, but to reveal what still needs your attention?
When you’re triggered, it’s not just a reaction, it’s a roadmap. It leads to the wounds, insecurities, or unmet needs you’ve tucked away for years. And facing them can be incredibly uncomfortable. But it can also be the most liberating thing you ever do. By understanding why certain people provoke us, we reclaim our power.
We stop blaming others and start asking the real questions:
- What is this reaction trying to teach me?
- Where have I felt this before?
- What part of me is asking to be healed?
These are not easy questions. But they’re necessary ones. Because when facing your shadow, you not only grow but also stop being controlled by it.
At Calle Ocho News, we believe in highlighting not just what’s happening in our community, but also what’s happening within us. Our stories explore the emotional, spiritual, and cultural truths that shape life in Miami-Dade and beyond.
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